Many an early morning I have relied on Youtube or Youtube for kids giving me an extra thirty minutes of peace. I have been able to shower and shave whilst my child entertains herself with my phone. It has indeed spared many a moments of me going insane whilst trying to multitask life and a toddler. And I was thankful.
However, I then started to witness her spending twenty minutes jaw opened watching a child open 150 Shopkins toys. 150!! Why any company believes it is healthy for a small child to be showered with such a ridiculous quantity of toys was just mind blowing.
How a parent could then film their child opening them was to be honest horrific. My small, precious sponge of a child was absorbing this into her teeny brain.
Eggs. How and why did that turn into a thing?
Let me tell you about eggs. I hate them, they make my blood boil.
2017 and forget about working on world peace, let’s watch eggs being opened. Let’s watch Asian people saying ‘Open Open SUPRISE’ on repeat. Let’s sit and let our neurons slide out of our eyeballs as children are filmed opening chocolate/plastic eggs.
The worst part is children love and are obsessed with these Youtube videos.
I remember the first time Phoebe saw a real “egg’ in a shop and her head almost combusted.
EGGS!!!!! what are you teaching our children. I tell you what you are doing, You are stunting tiny minds. You are making parents feel stabby all over the world.
I almost cancelled Easter in our house because of Youtube and their eggs.
I had to make it stop.
The thing is, people are making Youtube clips turning innocent shows into aggressive, demeaning, offensive and often violent videos and we have no control over stopping them if we give free reign of our phones/tablets.
I loved being able to cut her nails in peace, I could cry trying to iron with a toddler trying to help and waking up and having to chat whilst you are still in sleep mode is for sure hard work.
But I feel million times better knowing she is not being subjected to zombie shows and influenced by greed. That she won’t get angry because she wants to watch more of Chase and Skye having a bath in chocolate whilst an annoying American woman spurts word vomit.
That though Groundhog Day it can sometimes feel, that time really is fast and the years are short and that maybe stories at 6.30am and old episodes of Meg and Mog won’t kill you.
So Bye Youtube, I hope the trend of Eggs, Paw Patrol pissing on each other and 1095 play dough videos fades away quickly.
Do not even get me started on playdough videos…