• My hips don’t lie

    Now that I have a 10 week old baby do I have to care what my body looks like?

    There are moments when I look at myself and feel fiercely proud at my war wounds I have collected after growing Phoebe.

    There are moments when I look at myself and shudder.

    I have a scar that is pretty epic. I gained a few tiny stretch marks above the scar after I had her. That felt pretty mean seeing as I thought I had escaped stretch marks. My breasts are softer and in no way pointing in the direction they used to. But then I was expecting cocker spaniel ears so not too many complaints there. And I have a soft pouch above my scar that feels a bit like jelly.

    I feel like my ‘I just had a baby’ pass is close to expiring and that I should probably re introduce exercise and dieting into my life but then CAKE… Mums love cake. Mums love going out and meeting other mums for food. This always leads to cake.

    Maybe I need to extend this pass for a few more weeks until the cake novelty wears off. If that is even a thing,

    Ali x

  • And then there was a bump

    2014-12-16 10.49.54

    So I was to become a mum. Life as I knew it was to evolve in a blink of an eye. My belly swelled so quickly I didn’t get time to say goodbye to my feet.

    I sported one could say a large bump. I quickly got used to old ladies asking me if I was ready to give birth (at 6 months pregnant) and I adjusted to not sleeping by entering into a relationship with Netflix.
    Knowing that I was going to be doing it alone was a tad nerve racking. I thought I would be more scared but my job of working with children gave me hope that I wouldn’t break the baby.

    I think the thing that I found hard was knowing that I would be without a companion, someone in the night who I could hit when they ignored the crying or pretended they hadn’t noticed a soiled nappy. Someone to bring me pickles at 3AM. Actually that pickle bit was a lie, something from the movies. I wanted pickles ALL day long.

    My family rescued me, let me move back home. This part was actually quite easy as my family are all just as bonkers as me. I would miss my home and my flatmate and my trendy and accessible surroundings. But I was lucky.

    For those of you who are pregnant or planning on getting pregnant. A word of advice. Do not have any expectations. Just don’t. This stops you from driving yourself insane. You can plan and hope thinking that it will be as easy as that. But it won’t. I learnt that baby will do as baby desires. You are a host. You are a manager of a BnB. When this baby is ready to leave it will leave and don’t expect a tip.

    My baby girl was transverse (sideways lying) this became a problem towards the end of my pregnancy and the secret wish of giving birth naturally in a birth center to Counting Crows as mum patted my head in the pool was quickly diminished. I was to spend the last 12 days of my pregnancy in hospital being monitored and poked on a daily basis.

    Phoebe Cecily Violet was born on January the 2nd via C section. 13 days early. It was calm, it was odd, it was slightly barbaric but she was here.

    I was no longer just Alex, I was a mum. With a teeny tiny human resting on my deflated, stitched up belly.

    And so it began…….
    Ali x